If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
