I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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