Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
