Porn is love you can see.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
