I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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