My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
FUCK WHALES
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