Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
