Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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