i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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