What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
