You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
