I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
