You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
