Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
