Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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