yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize