I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
