Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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