you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
