Please, let me fuck your mom
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
