i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My cat gives me a boner
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
