I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
