i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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