super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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