Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
