Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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