ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
