What did we do last night that was yellow?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
