I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize