I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize