wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
