didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize