OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize