I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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