On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am midnight drunk by noon
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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