Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Let's get the cat blown out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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