hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.