i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.