I could make wine with my vomit
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
