i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
