Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
