covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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