Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
