You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize