Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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