Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.