Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
