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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (607): View more from New York

  I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.

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• (949): View more from California

  Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.

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• (415): View more from California

  I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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• (585): View more from New York

  PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect

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