I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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