after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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