Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
