I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Houston, we have a blender
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
