on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
