these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
