So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
