I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
