I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...