Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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