i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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