I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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